28 Days
by afterfourteenyears
Summary: [GinSachi] Gin-san's team lost a bet. A very crucial one that would determine his fate for the next 28 days. Lucky for Sacchan, she's on the winning side.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** _I do not own anything from Gintama. I'd really appreciate your reviews. This story is raw and unbetaed because I'm a busy superhero, saving the world and all that. Hope you don't mind. This fic is slightly more light hearted than my others. I wanna try writing the characters closer (oh really) to their gagged up canon selves. Good thing I have this weekend off. I should start studying though. We never do the things we're supposed to anyway. :D_

The challenge was a piece of cake. It was a sure win, that is, if he didn't have these low lifes as teammates. Gintoki Sakata sighed dejectedly. He had his heart set on asking for unlimited daily cash as a prize. Big mistake counting his chickens before they've hatched. Bitterly, he blamed his idiotic group members.

The four-man team was composed of himself, Kagura, Zura -Katsura Kotarou- and Toushirou Hijikata. Plain and simple recipe for disaster. Never again, he thought, never again should the world make such a blunder. They all found themselves in embarrassing predicaments.

Hijikata, the nicotine addict demon vice commander, had a tube of mayonnaise up his butt as he tried to claw his way out of a thick, thorny hedge on the side of the road. Zura, the dimwit and fugitive Joui faction leader, was inside a heavy-looking Ironman suit which had fallen over, causing his inability to move even an inch. Elizabeth, his constant oversized duck companion, was dressed as a cheerleader and at the sidelines, not even bothering to assist Zura with standing. Kagura, the violent Amanto China girl, had fallen to the ground, beaten after a long running close combat of the fists with the sadistic first division Shinsengumi captain, Sougo Okita of the other team.

Gintoki himself was being dragged across the rocky ground by the end of a whip wrapped around his wrists. Ayame Sarutobi, a purple haired woman with glasses who worked as a ninja assassin, was tugging him forward and Kondou Isao, the gorilla Shinsengumi captain, was barking with laughter, pulling along with her.

Gintoki grumbled in defeat. There was no way out of this. He only hoped that none of the winning demands of the other party involved him. But the odds were against him. There was no way that stalker woman would pass up the opportunity to get a piece of him. He could decipher her wishes from the very beginning, just as they were assembling for the contest. She screeched upon their meeting and glomped him within seconds. He didn't miss the ways she rubbed up against his body suggestively, also promising him in not so subtle words of the delightful days awaiting them.

He had torn her off him and flung her into a tree. This did not deter her, as usual. She continued to blush and bat her eyes at him, trying to get close only to end up pestering him to his limit.

A very, very bad feeling had overcome him. He was now at her mercy. The dragging stopped and Sacchan turned to face him. The glint in her eyes could not be overlooked as she giggled like a schoolgirl. She pulled him up to a standing position with his wrists still bound and then stepped closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. Her hands were caressing his biceps and she was making noises sounding like, "kyaa!" and "Gin-san!" He tried to shake her off but was interrupted by Shinpachi Shimura.

Shinpachi, a younger boy with glasses, had opted to be the judge this time. It was quite sensible of him since he could have ended up in his own shameful situation as the others have. He gave Gintoki a sympathetic look before shaking hands with Sacchan, Kondou, Taizou Hasegawa and Sougo, who had just arrived and was dusting his hands off on his pants.

"I guess Team Stalker Sadist wins!" Shinpachi declared. "Name your prize, guys." He prompted.

Gintoki could not think of any other word than "SHIT".

"Sacchan, ladies first," Kondou said, sniggering at Gintoki.

All too excited, Sacchan, who was still wrapped around Gintoki, was blushing and her eyes were shining delightedly. Gintoki tried to inch away but both Hasegawa and Sougo held him in place, devilish hints in their own eyes.

"Gin-san!" She gasped with glee. "I want Gin-san!"

"Uh... you have to be more specific." Shinpachi said. "What would you have him do?"

Gintoki shuddered at the conversation. He didn't want to _have_ to _do_ anything for that annoying stalker.

"Well, Gin-san, for the next four weeks, I want you to do whatever I ask you to!" She giggled, cuddling closer to him. "We're going places to have adventures. Just us. "

Kondou inclined his head, smiling, "Awesome, Sacchan! You're going to have a great time!" He pumped his fist for emphasis.

"I'm jealous! I want to go on a trip with my wife!" Hasegawa whined.

"You'll get your wish later." Sougo murmured. "But I don't think Boss is happy about this. It could be hell for him."

"THE HELL IT IS!" Gintoki roared. "That should be illegal!"

With an awkward look, Shinpachi said, "It's actually all right, Gin-san. You did agree to the terms of this bet beforehand."

"It's going to be fun, Gin-san!" Sacchan screamed. "28 days with only each other's company. It's like a honeymoon!" Shrieking, she fell to the ground, rolling side to side and lost in her fantasies.

Gintoki turned and took large, brisk steps, rushing to get away. He didn't even bother to stay and listen to the others' requests. It didn't matter. The next month would be pure torture and suffering. He should probably kill himself tonight.


	2. Day 1

**Author's note:** _I do not own anything from Gintama. I'd really appreciate your reviews. This story is raw and unbetaed because of reasons. F*cking hell, I never accomplished any writing for this in the past few days because I was overworked and then I ended up sleeping most of the time. I'm much more in the mood to write Mitsuketa lately. Replies to reviews will be at the end of chapters. Thank you for taking time to leave some feedback. It makes me happy. :)_

**Chapter 2: Day 1**

It was 12:04 a.m., Japan Standard Time, and Gintoki was brooding over his rotten situation. Not that dwelling on it was doing him any favors. It only made him feel worse. He likened himself to an innocent man on death row, sentenced to execution in a matter of minutes. Although compared to his present standing, that was definitely the more appealing option.

He was in a deadlock, or, to be more specific, in _deep fucking shit_. There was not a single redeeming factor in this entire farce.

He walked sullenly across the airport terminal with four main luggages in tow. Every luggage, to his dismay, had at least two more bags strapped to them. Each bag, in return, weighed a ton. What in the universe did that woman pack in her suitcases to make them infinite and so goddamn hefty?

If he had his way, he would bury the stalker Sacchan underneath all her cases and then hop on a bus back home. Glancing at her, he felt even more annoyed at what he saw.

She was prancing alongside him, in a short dress and heels, displaying a merry expression which he bitterly viewed as being triumphant. She was dragging the only suitcase he had bothered to pack. Earlier, she insisted that they switch loads and unfortunately, he was not in the position to decline her commands.

What actually irritated him to new levels was the way she kept shooting lovey-dovey glances at him, acting all giddy, and referring to herself as his _girlfriend_.

Yeah, about that... She'd lain down a few ridiculous rules regarding their arrangement. First, they would spend the entire month being a couple. Second, he was not allowed to push her away.

"We need more body contact, Gin-san," she reasoned, and with that also declared that they would be wrapped in each other's arms every night. He blantantly refused her invitation of showering together.

Third, no looking or flirting or spending time with other women -or men-.

"You don't have to worry, Gin-san," her eyes were sultry, "you're the only man for me."

Gintoki didn't give a shit if she ran off with another man right this moment. In fact, he'd be overjoyed even if some creature -gorilla or Amanto- would appear and take her far, far away. Dear God, let her torment someone else.

The fourth and final rule, "I want _you_ to have fun, Gin-san!" She was yelling enthusiastically into his ear as she hugged him. Huh. What did she know about his fun?

He was about to swat her away but remembered the second rule on time. Stupid useless rules. Laws were meant to be broken, but there were consequences. Dangerous ones.

He barely got any sleep that night with all the badgering he'd received. Kondou, another avid stalker in a league of his own, invaded the Yorozuya couch. The Shinsengumi commander reminded him a million times to grant his purple-haired pursuer's wishes without complaint.

"My own prize is at stake here," he declared, "I swear to God, Gintoki, I'll have you locked up and butt-raped by veteran prisoners if you ruin my only chance at love."

Gintoki failed to even register what Kondou explained to be his winning pick. It might involve Otae Shimura, Shinpachi's violent and menacing older sister, whom the captain was obsessed with.

"Good luck with that," he muttered. In all actuality, he didn't care one bit about the others since he believed that his own circumstance was very much unrivaled in terms of suffering.

Picking his nose lazily, he imagined ways to get out of the situation. There was hardly any time left.

"Don't even think about it, Boss." Sougo was already sitting next to Kondou, a small smile in his lips. He appeared to have read Gintoki's thoughts. "I'll fucking murder you twenty times, chop of your extremities, yes that includes the one in between your legs, mash them into a pile and then mold them into vases for display in the market. Then I'll carve demon writings on your head and use it as cannon ammo to blow Hijikata-san's face off."

Yep, it seemed like Sougo was also threatening him. The insane creature did treasure the chance to torture Hijikata aplenty. Wouldn't want to take that away from him and suffer his wrath.

On a less stressful day, Gintoki would have actually risen to the challenge. He had fought Sougo several times in the past and though the young captain wasn't too shabby himself, Gin knew he would undoubtedly kick the brute's ass.

"Oi Gintoki, do your old pal a favor and behave, all right?" Madao had squeezed in between the two Shinsengumi captains. Gin was getting pissed. Everyone was appearing out of nowhere and harrassing him. As if the day couldn't get any worse. He just wanted to sleep and never wake up. Maybe he was already trapped in a nightmare.

"My wife and I haven't gone on a romantic vacation for years," Hasegawa explained, frowning. There appeared to be hostile red eyes, demon-like, shining from behind his sunglasses.

Stupid troublesome people coming over to bother him at this time of the night. He still hated them for winning and making him spend a month with the insane ninja stalker woman. Everyone knew that once someone broke the rules, all bets were off. And what of his teammates? Those criminals. They didn't even concern themselves with his predicament.

He could hear Kagura snoring loudly from the closet which she had made her bedroom. Who knows where the other morons -Hijikata and Zura- were? Probably still stuck at the hedge and inside the Ironman suit, respectively.

Shinpachi, the disloyal fool, was suspiciously avoiding him.

He left the trio and entered his room to lie down. Closing his eyes, he let sleep claim him.

At exactly 11:00 p.m., Sacchan appeared in his bedroom, waking him. She was hanging upside down from the ceiling, insisting that he pick her up in a few minutes so they could catch an early flight.

"I don't want to waste a minute of our time together, Gin-san!"

She blew him a kiss and disappeared immediately afterwards. Gintoki randomly grabbed his clothes and stuffed them in his suitcase. It didn't matter, all his clothes were identical anyway.

**Author's end note:** _That's it for now. Will move on to writing another chapter. I am way behind schedule. As if I even have one. *sniggers* Thank you, **kurasuchi**, my first reviewer. You say such nice things. I only wrote a lot during my first update because I took the weekend off. I agree, the lack of het Gin pairing fics is frustrating. Which is why my mind is on overdrive with imaginings. To **fan**, thanks much and I guess I can promise that there won't be a love triangle involving Tsukuyo here. Though she might be mentioned in passing a few times._


	3. Day 1 point 5

_**Author's note:** I do not own anything from Gintama. I'd really appreciate your reviews. This story is raw and unbetaed, please be advised. I apologize gomen nasai sumanakatta for the super late update. I was overworked in the past month and had lost the inspiration to continue this fic. Nevertheless, it has returned, the prodigal muse. Still pretty shabby though. And fuck plagiarism, don't even try to do it. This chapter is kinda weird. I don't have a good explanation. Thank you for the feedback. Moaaar. :]_

**Chapter 3: Day 1.5**

Their first stop was at the beach where, strangely enough, everyone was a friggin' couple; but the more horrific fact was that each person, be it him or her lying on the sand or frolicking in the waves, was butt naked.

"NUDE COUPLE BEACH!" Gintoki was normally excited by something so breathtaking. Simply the idea of watching women in their birthday suits was rewarding. Then, he felt nauseated, remembering his eager companion. She asked him to go ahead and wait for her near the shore. Wrinkling his nose, he dreaded the idea of seeing her undressed. Worse, she might have a few filthy activities planned out. It was only day one and he was already drowning in fear and regret.

He felt overdressed in this place. Glancing down, he wondered if he should take his shorts off. It was a bad idea since it served as his chastity belt, the sole defense against the stalker woman's grabby hands and wicked intentions. He considered dressing in winter wear, but the scorching heat of the sun was difficult to ignore.

What a pain in the ass this vacation was.

"Oh Gin-san! Yoohoo! Over here~~!" He knew that bothersome voice.

Murmuring a quick prayer to the gods, he took his time pivoting on his heel to face her. What he saw almost sent him to cardiac arrest. He had to hand it to her, she was creative with her approaches. Even so, she continued to fail at amusing him.

Astonishingly, she wasn't completely bare. She had dipped her breasts in what looked like chocolate syrup. Her hips had two large cupcakes barely covering the front and back sides. She was dripping on the sand dangerously and he dreaded the moment when all the chocolate vanished.

He almost elbowed her away as a reflex when she moved to hug him. Jumping back instead, he held up in palms in front of her, hoping she would start explaining herself.

Dipping her hands on the syrup, she took a lick and then offered the rest to him with what appeared to be an alluring expression. As usual, it repulsed him.

"Ahahaha! Later! Later!" He waved his hands feeling incredibly stupid. People were glancing at them, intrigued by their appearances. A wave of irritation hit him. Wasn't it time to go yet?

Was he going through hell and this was only the first circle? How many goddamn stages were there again? Fucking Dante hadn't even shown his face around here. The temperature of this place certainly matched the inferno.

"Gin-san! Rub some sun lotion over my body, pretty please!" The stalker woman in glasses was sitting on a beach blanket, protected by a large, colorful umbrella. She was sticking out her back to him and opening a bottle of sunscreen.

There had to be a way out of this. Grabbing the first person he could reach, he was surprised to see a naked little boy.

"Do you even have a girlfriend? How old are you?"

"Four!" The toddler giggled, holding up two fingers from each palm.

"What the hell are you doing in a nudist beach?" How could a kid be here? He almost fainted when he saw another toddler, a butt-naked young girl, building sandcastles on the shore.

"Four!" The boy kept nodding.

"Is that your girlfriend?"

"Four!"

"UGH, I need your help. You must rub some lotion over that strange lady's back."

"Four!"

"I'll give you two cupcakes, one each for you and your cute little girlfriend. Bonus, you can lick some chocolate syrup after. Do we have a deal?"

He almost flung the baby away when it continued to hold up its fingers and exclaim the same word. It did, however, exceed expectations as it spread the lotion on Sacchan's back with the two peace signs on his hands.

"Oh, Gin-san, I never realized your hands were so soft and small, like a baby's!" Gintoki marveled at how everything went smoothly. She was unaware of his deception, sighing in content. "Keep going! Wow, you are amazing at this!"

He couldn't believe his eyes as the child started to draw disturbing images with the lotion, cackling maliciously at his work. When he ran out of balm, he scooped out some mucus from his nostril and used it to paint more symbols.

The characters looked like text taken straight from a curse book. His suspicion increased when the child grew some horns and a tail. It kept on chanting, "FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR…"

Alarmed, he kicked the kid to the deep end of the sea. A loud hiss could be heard as it sank to the bottom. The little girl screamed and ran on top of the water, trying to fish out her, uh, boyfriend with a large red fork.

What in *bleep*'s name was that?

"Gin-san? Is everything all right? I know my sexy nakedness is making you nervous. Don't worry, for some couples, it can be awkward at the beginning…"

He slapped the beach towel on her back and scraped out the writings. "Ahahahaha! Yes, yes, today's making me really nervous."

"I'm anxious too. Maybe there are too many people around. I can't-" She was wiggling and covering her face. "Eek! I can't take it, Gin-san! I'm just too shy~~… If- If they see us doing this- Ahh! It's so embarrassing!"

Gintoki reconsidered bringing back the demon child slash Antichrist to drag her to hell.

"Let's go to our room. We- We can do married stuff there without being embarrassed. Kyaa!"

Married? Who the hell said they were married now? He was really going to ask that little boy to continue his favor.

That night, she eagerly jumped on the bed, wearing a thin cream nightdress. This was the moment he was truly dreading. Patting the area beside her, she called out excitedly, "Over here, Gin-san! I- I'm ready~~!"

"I think I'll stay on the couch tonight," he declared but found her arms wrapped around his waist as she dragged him to the bed.

He fell on top of her, making her blush. As usual, she misinterpreted the situation. "Oh, my, you're so bold and eager! O- Okay, do whatever you feel like doing! Ahhh!"

This woman was making something out of nothing. He had no desire to spend the night doing whatever it was she had in mind. Where were Shinpachi and Kagura when he needed them? Why wasn't Zura or Madao popping out of nowhere like always?

He felt hopeless as he saw her wrap his arms around her shoulders and secure them with handcuffs. She had kidnapped him and forced him to do her bidding! This was just like in the novel, Misery, and he was not looking forward to having his leg and thumb cut off. He possessed no writing talent to save his life!

"Gin-san…" She actually looked nontoxic with her eyes closed, snuggling against his chest. "Good night…"

Taking one last experimental tug at the cuffs with no luck, he resigned to giving up for tonight. It was about time he got some sleep after the life-threatening ordeals he had gone through.

"Good night," he mumbled, to no one in particular.

_**Author's end note:** Um, please be advised that it's possible that I might not update within the next 6 weeks. I really have to prioritize my exam. We'll see. To **kurasuchi**, thanks again! Sorry for the late update. :P_


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